Saturday, August 02, 2008

Being Abusive

I really want to learn some new choice words of abuse.

I find myself much at a loss when I’m sitting with the Guy and he’s driving, and someone overtakes from the wrong side or is talking on the phone while driving or doing some heinous act like that.

I usually end up saying “bastard” (unfortunately, as I don’t shout loud enough, usually the only person who hears it is the Guy), which makes me sound like an embarrassing anachronism from the 19th century. Besides, I don’t think “bastard” is an insult, really. The only alternative I have is something like “idiot”, which seems much too tame.

I never did learn the right expletives in Hindi, but even if I had, I doubt they would serve the purpose. There are words like sisterfucker or motherfucker (or their equivalents in Hindi) that seem to roll off the tongue very impressively, but then, I don’t really care what you do in your personal life; I’m only furious that you just spat out of the car window. Speculations on someone’s sexual life don’t seem, well, insulting enough.

On a related note, why are most expletives related to women in some way? There’s the ubiquitous – and innocent-sounding – “saala”, which, of course is a crude way of expressing my desire of sleeping with your sister. And of course the ones I mentioned above. Wouldn’t saying “fatherfucker” to a man produce more of the desired effect?

So unless you can suggest some creative non-sexual ones, I think I’ll stick to that for now.

9 comments:

Banno said...

Oh, I thought I was the only one who felt old-fashioned when I said 'bastard'.

Indian Home Maker said...

About 'bastard', i also don't feel it is an insult at all. And I agree 'Speculations on someone’s sexual life don’t seem, well, insulting enough'...it made me smile :) Women's so called 'honor' is a big deal for men, so that reflects in our abuses and insults too. I am amazed at how much you manage to say with very few words. Liked this post:)

@lankr1ta said...

I say it too.. and its not good enough... Asshole works... but again- too mild...
We had a talk on Shakespeare and Company on this

http://www.ryze.com/posttopic.php?topicid=960891&confid=1772

I have been toying with "You make my worst stereotypes true" but it is too long....

Unmana said...

Thanks for agreeing, ladies.

Banno: :-) I do end up saying "What the eff" quite often, though.

Indian home maker: Thank you. Yeah, well, women are 'property', right, so questioning your hold over your property should work to insult you.

Alankrita: I have to be a member to view the conversation. "Asshole" is another I considered. But again, I don't think it's insulting enough.

Saurabh Roy said...

I second to each and every word said by Indian home maker...my reaction wd've been same word to word..I am actually finding it hard to find an insulting phrase..

Unmana said...

Saurabh: Thank you. But no one seems to have any suggestions for me!

NuttyNits said...

I digged ur feminism section n bumped into this one. I liked this post very much. I too find it very tough to abuse. "Asshole" and "Bugger" is most frequently used by me. Its quite an achievement for me.. considering I'm brought in a family where lame slangs like "stupid" & "idiot" is also not allowed!!
On a lighter note I love one mild slang.. thou i dont use it often "bavada/bavadi bhoot" (mad ghost) :-D

Unmana said...

Thanks, Nits! I love "bavada/bavadi bhoot" - but it's way too mild, don't you think? It would come across as funny rather than offensive.

NuttyNits said...

Yeah I agree.. but I think its the way you say that makes a difference ;) If you have seen Russel Peter's "fucking blow job" act you would know ;)