Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Saturday, March 27, 2010
A friend and I were discussing rude comments and how to respond to them. Here are a few ideas.
Rude Person: You should try these breast-enhancing oils. (Actual comment to my friend from her masseur)
Option 1: Actually, I don't need breasts. I'm a man.
Option 2: Sure! And I know of some brain-enhancing pills you could try.
RP: You don't look like you're from Assam
Option 1 (if you know where RP is from): Well, I'm only glad I don't look like I'm from [insert RP's home state]
Option 2 (to be applied with a sweet smile): Yeah, I don't look like a real freak from the outside, do I?
Variation on the above: You look like you're from [insert random region, often the RP's homeplace]
Option 1 (to be applied with a look of horror): What? Oh no!
Option 2: Oh dear, there must have been a glitch in the software!
Warning: both of these work better if the RP names the region he's from.
RP: You should have babies soon. (Or some variation of the same)
Option 1 (said absent-mindedly): Thanks, but I prefer eggs for breakfast. (Warning: this might not work if the RP words her comment differently.)
Option 2 (insert look of surprise): You know what, you’re right, I should! In fact, I’m going to go get started right now! Now, where’s the Guy…?
What rude comments have you got lately? Put them down and we’ll think of ways to respond, shall we?
Monday, March 15, 2010
Thursday, March 04, 2010
- Sitting in my shorts and old t-shirt all day long
- Eating whenever I'm hungry, including Maggi nearly every day (anyone surprised I've put on weight?)
- Watching TV. I actually enjoyed TV after years, looking forward to the couple of shows a day I watched regularly (Bones, How I Met Your Mother, Ugly Betty and sometimes Desperate Housewives or The New Adventures of Old Christine, including old episodes of Friends that I still sometimes compulsively watch - and oh, Rishta.com).
- Not showering till evening if I didn't have to go out: sometimes not at all.
- Not stepping out of the house at all for days, and even then often just to go to a weeknight party or dinner out with friends.
- Instigating weeknight parties and then grinning smugly when the others complained of having to go to work with a hangover and a few hours' sleep. Given my weird working hours now, I can't even make it to any Friday night parties.
- Being so relaxed. No deadlines. Nothing to do except what I want to. Mindless hours of games. Long hours of lazing on the sofa and reading. Watching movies in the afternoon. Taking naps whenever I was sleepy. Nothing to worry about (except for money).