Sunday, October 05, 2008

An Open Letter to the Guy

I can count the days now, till you will be back. It is three weeks - only three weeks, when you think about the fact that we have stayed apart for six weeks already. It seems a little less than forever. Which means I can write now about all that I miss about you, that I'd put off writing about because I didn't want to dwell on it.

Yet what do I write, where do I start? What do I not miss? I miss your very presence, the physical space you fill. I liked, at first, having the whole bed to myself, but now it seems too empty, and I miss your body staking out its claim... on the bed, and on me. I miss your smell, that I can't describe and don't even remember very well but that made me feel at home, snuggled up to you. I miss, yes, I miss sometimes having breakfast ready when I get up in the morning, or my lunch cooked and packed - did I tell you I still can't manage to close the lunchbox right? I miss perhaps most of all, having a bad moment - or an exciting one - and not being able to call out or call you up right away, because I don't want to disturb your sleep. I miss not being able to rest my head on your shoulders at the end of a weary day, and to let my tears fall on your body. I miss not being able to reach out and touch you, to pull your cheeks or your ear, to stroke your arm, to hold your hand - do you realise how often I do that?

All this seems almost like a dream, a faint memory... have you been away that long?

I miss sitting by you while you drive and I think or talk, or dance or sing along to the music. I miss spending most of the weekend talking to you, usually arguing over nothing, over ground we have walked over and agreed upon long ago.

I won't miss you any more than usual tomorrow - after all, it's just another day. As you always say, it wasn't on this day that we got married, it was on the day that came many months before when we decided we wanted to share our lives with each other.

Forgive the incoherence of this post - I'm a bit befuddled by drugs and theGuysickness.

10 comments:

Suki said...

Big hugs to you from this end of the world. I'm shuddering to think what I'd be like if I had to be apart from Baby for long.. hang in there, take care.

simplypallu said...

Oh, but it's beautiful. For what it's worth, let me wish you a very happy anniversary. Wish he could spring a surprise on you by coming earlier, and catch the moment on camera for us... like I did to my bratty husband ;-)

Unmana said...

Suki: Thanks a lot. I'm trying.

Pallu: Thank you. We'll meet and celebrate soon? Oh, and you did that? Tell us the story!

Aneela Z said...

You have been tagged..
http://golkamra.blogspot.com/2008/10/tagged-obsessions-and-confessions.html
But I can understand if you are going through tag fatigue.

Pinku said...

hey!!!

sweety get well soon, of the illness I mean, of the guy sickness hold on to it tightly and I hope you never let go... :)

Roop Rai said...

awwwwww i'll be experiencing the same in a few days. :( can't stay a day away from him. very well written ... and yep, hang in there. and a very very happy anniversary to you.

http://roopscoop.wordpress.com

Unmana said...

Aneela: It's partly done, will post it as soon as I can finish.

Pinku: Thanks!

Roop: It was a busy, tiring and otherwise uneventful day, but that's okay. We'll celebrate properly once he's back.

Indian Home Maker said...

Aww get well soon, guy-sickness can be tough :( The solitude at first becomes loneliness after a while!

And hey, belated Anniversary Wishes to you :)
Hugz,
IHM

Unmana said...

IHM: That's exactly it. Only two more weeks, I tell myself.

Monika,Ansh said...

Aww so sweet :) I almost miss my guy reading this post even though he is right here .
Liked your blog & your quirks. Came here vis Chandni's blog