I do not understand why the concept of a 'small, family wedding' is so difficult for people to understand. I have got unpleasant, even (usually?) rude responses to news about my impending marriage. The most vehement, perhaps, was from an old school friend (we have never been intimate, and we've been in and - mostly - out of touch since then) who claimed that I probably didn't remember his name, that there was no reason why I should invite him to my wedding (I agree with him on that) but he would come anyway! (Need I mention how furious I was at this? I did not trust myself to draft a civil reply, so the mail went unanswered.)
Another school 'friend' (for the record, she didn't bother to reply to any of the last few mails I sent her) asked if I wouldn't invite her to the wedding, and asked me to 'at least' let her know the date! (I wonder where she got the news from - and how come her informant was unaware of the date.)
I have told those whom I consider my friends what kind of a wedding it is going to be - a fuss-less, simple one, with a registration in the presence of family (which I consider to include our best friends). I did not even need to explain to them why I wanted a wedding like that - they know me well enough to understand. It might be the custom to have lots of guests at a wedding, but my wedding is a personal event for me, and I do not want it on display. The Guy and I both feel that the significance of a wedding lies in the event itself, in the commitment the couple make to each other, not in the magnificence of the decor, the richness of the food or the weight of the bride's jewellery! More than that, we feel that it is the presence of loved ones that will make this event truly wonderful - and so we wanted to be sure not to have anyone that we did not want, anything that would trivialize the occasion. And yes, it makes us feel good to think that we're not spending our parents' money.
I can understand people automatically assuming - without bothering to ask - that it will be a 'normal' traditional wedding. What I consider rude is when they do not bother to congratulate me, or ask who I'm marrying, but only flaunt their offended ego at not being invited. These are precisely the kind of people we do not want at our wedding. We want people who'll be happy for us and wish us well, not people who'll count the number of rupees we spent and smirk at our miserliness.
And remember, these are people who have never remembered me in all these years, who did not bother to get in touch with me when my dad died (I did not need you then, and I need you now?), who have never done the slightest thing for me yet feel entitled to a slice of my life.
This is MY wedding. And you so-called friends who don't care a hoot for me are not invited. Is that so hard to understand?