This Year

This year, I will stop being good.
This year, I will find myself.
I will stop feeling guilty.
I will have more fun.
I will spend more time
with people I like.
I will like me more.

 

My love will be soft and playful
maybe damp with longing
but not heavy with guilt.

 

I will not apologize
for not being perfect
for having needs
for needing help.

 

I will not try to change
or pretend to be someone else
to win approval
or love.

 

This year, I will finally accept
that love cannot be won.
That who and what I am
should be enough.

 

That not getting love from one
is not a tragedy
when you have so much
from another.

 

I will accept
that there are things I cannot do
mountains I cant climb
and that the view from the valley
can be lovely too.

 

I will accept
the limitations of my body
and love it as it is
and be happy with all that's right.

 

I will enjoy my beginning
in this city I already love fiercely.
I will love even more
this man I love so much
and who is so full of love
for me.