Monday, February 20, 2012

In Which I Reveal My Lack of More Interesting Employment by Spending Way Too Much Time on One Spam Comment

I got this comment on a recent post (which I marked as spam, but reproduce below for your reading pleasure).
Hello Mr/Mrs, 
My name is Kate, I am working for an English Seo Company "".
 My purpose of writing to you is to propose you so called "Seo Audit for a link", by this I mean, the creation of a good, relevant content for your site, for example one page for one textual link to our resource. All of our content writers are native speakers, who write their articles in really good English.
If you are interested in such kind of services, please contact me for more detailed information.

Thanks a lot and wait for your response on this mail:

Normally, I'd just hit "spam" and move on, but because I'm in an expansive mood, here are some things that are wrong with this comment.
  1. This is a message to me, not a comment on the blog post. When my email address is available on the blog.
  2. Not even an apology for spamming, and this is an "SEO company." (Good SEOs know better: I have a lot of respect for them, and I have learned a lot from some of the tips and best practices some of the best share publicly.)
  3. Now getting to the actual comment. There are two things wrong with the form of address. One: Mr/Mrs? Those are your only options?
  4. Two: My name is in the blog header and the URL.
  5. What's an "English Seo" company? Is it a company based in the U.K. (in which case, say so) or do you specialize in "English Seo [which I'm pronouncing 'see-yo']"?
  6. Why can't an "Seo company" say SEO? I'm guessing you're copy-pasting from a template, in which case your company needs to fire your template-writer (but then, your company seems to have bigger problems, such as the spamming).
  7. An "SEO audit" is something like this, according to an expert. What you are suggesting is either a) I do you a huge favor with no quid-pro-quo and basically let you advertise free on my site or b) I deceive my audience by having your "content writer" write a post for me that I can pass off as mine. I'm not sure which would make me more stupid.
  8. What does "native speakers" mean? Are some SEO practitioners mute aliens? Why is that relevant?
  9. "Who write their articles in really good English": unlike me, who is clearly not a native-speaker-content-writer-who-writes-really-good-English.
  10. "If you are interested in such kind of services": I really hope you're not one of those good content writers.
  11. What, I should wait for my response...?
  12. Ah, you're one of those people who can't spell out "email address." That really tells me everything I need to know about you.

This isn't from your comment but from the home page of "your" website, and it makes me a mean person but I couldn't resist: how do you "help an enormous portfolio of clients"? Why was the portfolio so eager to achieve good search rankings? I'm so curious.

This was fun!


s said...

you literally hit the bull's-eye this time :P fun read !!

Gunjan said...

Mute aliens :D :D

Unmana said...

s: Glad to be of service!

Gunjan: Thank you. *Takes hat off and bows* I'm pretty proud of that one myself.