Thursday, August 18, 2011

Being Thankful

As I wrote here, I could go on and on telling you about the great things in my life I'm grateful for. It's not that I don't have anything to gripe about. But there are two reasons why I'd rather talk about the good things.

First, it makes me feel better. I could complain how my job doesn't earn me enough money instead of telling you how much I love working at it and how wonderful my boss is. I could talk about the things I wish I had better: more money, better health, more success at my work.

But that would make me focus more on the negative. Cribbing about my job would make me wonder why I do something I hate. It would make me feel like a loser, for wanting something better but not getting it. It would make me question whether I deserved better. And it would make me a worse worker because I would have less confidence in my abilities. It would make me a less fun spouse, because I'd be unhappy.

But the other reason? I know how good I have it because I can compare with the past and honestly say, I'm happier than I have ever been.

In late December, we were on a flight back from Delhi. I had just had an amazing vacation with the Guy and met some other friends, old and new (mostly new). Life was full of possibilities.

Then we hit some turbulence. As the plane wavered in the storm, I held the Guy's hand and wondered, what if? What if this was the end, and I didn't live to see tomorrow? What regrets would I have?

And the answer came back: nothing. I'd just had the best vacation of my life, I was happy. There were no regrets.

I've never been a particularly contented person. I've always planned for the next vacation, imagined the new sights around the corner. But there, as nature jostled our plane, I had an epiphany. I had everything I wanted. I was happy.

And I know that makes me pretty damn lucky.

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