More Confusion
Ragav and I talked all the way home, talked of
silly superficial things, of old acquaintances, cricket and hot movie stars. We
didn’t talk of that girl at all.
When we reached my place, Raghav asked if he
could come in.
“Of course!” I said.
“I thought you wanted to go to bed early,” he
reminded me.
“Come on in.”
He refused my offer of coffee.
“Yeah, I know it’s not your preferred
weekend-night beverage,” I drawled.
“We just had coffee,” he retorted. “Do you want
to keep me awake all night?”
“What about a glass of warm milk?” I smiled
sweetly.
He reached out to grab my hand and pull me down
on the mattress beside him. “Let’s talk,” he said.
“What about?”
He touched my hair where it fell about my
shoulders in thick waves.
“I like your hair long,” he said.
“Well, it was long the last time you visited too.”
“I noticed,” he smiled, fending off the
implicit complaint.
Had he noticed? Or was he just covering up? The
thing was, you never knew with Raghav.
“You looked cute and impish with short hair,”
he went on, “but I love how longer hair gives you a mature, mysterious look.”
“He
likes my hair!” exclaimed Mandakini. “Even though that girl’s hair is long and
straight and shiny.”
I felt all warm and fuzzy, like I always did
when Raghav said something nice.
“Maybe because it’s so rare?” suggested Miki
demoniacally.
“I don’t suppose you wanted to talk about my
hair,” I said aloud. “What is it?”
“Well, actually, I had promised I’d never
mention this to you again.”
I looked at him. He seemed reluctant to meet my
eyes.
“You really want to talk about that again?” I
asked gently.
He looked up. “Why not? Except for the fact
that you asked me not to?”
I gave my head a shake to clear it. “You want
to talk about you and me getting together?” I said slowly.
“Today?” added Miki in my head. “After he spent
the day fawning over that girl?”
“Yeah, Miki,” said Raghav. “Do you mind my
raising the subject?”
I shook my head, more slowly this time. “No. We
can talk about it if you want to.”
I realised he was still holding my hand.
“Miki, you and I know each other better than
anyone else. You do like me, you know. Else you wouldn’t put up with me the way
you do.”
“I love you, Raghav. You know that. You’re the
only person I can really talk to.”
“But you don’t want to be with me.”
“I don’t think
so…”
“That gives me hope,” he said. “It sounds less
positive than last time.”
“That’s because I am less positive than last time,” said Miki, but not aloud.
I looked at him. It was funny how I had never
really looked at Raghav before. When we talked to each other, we were often on
the phone, or we were sitting or walking next to each other. Rarely had I sat
across from him and looked at his face. I realised he had large dark eyes with
absurdly long lashes – eyes that would make a woman’s face beautiful and that
made his otherwise strong square face adorably vulnerable.
He was holding my hand in both of his now, and
gently, almost imperceptibly, pulling me forward. Our lips met.
I had never imagined kissing Raghav. If I had,
I might have thought it would be like kissing a brother – not that I’d know
exactly, never having had one. But I learned that it wasn’t at all like how I
imagined kissing a brother would be. It was tender and demanding, and before I
knew it we were holding each other in a close embrace. It can’t have lasted
more than a few seconds, that kiss, but it seemed to last forever.
At last I opened my eyes and moved a few inches
back. His eyes were staring dreamily into mine.
“Miki,” he said softly, and touched my cheek.
I don’t know how long I looked at him. Then I
smiled.
“Does this mean yes?” he asked.
It felt like I had fallen back on earth with a
thud. “Let’s not talk about that now, Raghav,” I said. “Is that all right?”
“It’s difficult,” he said wryly.
“Okay.” It had always been hard seeing Raghav
sad over girl problems – and that didn’t change when the girl was me. I gave
him a hug first.
After I had moved away again, I spoke with more
confidence than I felt. “No, it doesn’t mean anything, Raghav. I love you, but
I’m not in love with you. I am not sure you’re in love with me either. No,
don’t argue. I know what you think, but I think you’re wrong. I don’t think
this would be a good idea.
“I don’t want to hurt you, okay? But I think
we’re both confused and are likely to end up making a mistake. Let’s remain
friends for now. We can talk about this again later if you want to.”
He nodded. “But you know I’ll be waiting, if you
change your mind?”
“I’ll tell you if I change my mind,” I told
him.
“And nothing’s changed between us?”
“I hope nothing ever will,” I smiled.
7 comments:
Okay Unmana, that's it. Stop it. Enough is enough! Clearly Raghav loves Miki, so tell her to back off and let love take its course. Or do you want Miki to lose him to someone else and regret it forever.
Give love a chance and take it from there.
- Is this gal crazy????
- "It sounds less positive than last time."....hmmm less positive or less negative?....am confused
Amit: I'm glad you are so interested in Miki's fate!
Gayatri: Actually, positive can also mean emphatic or confident.
And why do you think she is crazy?
^c ^v what Amit said!
I feel like giving Miki a kick. humpf.
- Well because he knows her and she knows him...he knows he loves her...she knows she loves him....there is chemistry,physics and biology between them :)....whatelse do u need????
- I don't think I can remain JUST friends with an all-of-the-above 'friend'..Can u?
because the math doesn't add up :-p
aargh, I don't know if this is all real. But I've seen so many of my own friends on the same boat.. and either of the two - the guy or girl suffer a heartache at some point of time!
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