Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Relationship Advice

The worst relationship advice I ever got was when I first got together with the Guy, and a friend hinted that I should find someone better-looking, someone whose arm I'd be proud to walk into a room on. Understanding doesn't matter so much with time, she told me, making me wonder about her relationship with her long-time boyfriend and soon to be husband.

What did I do? Oh, I smiled and nodded and called the Guy at my first chance to laugh over it. And we both exclaimed over how weird people are - a topic of conversation that has remained most enduring and entertaining for us.

And it's been over four years and believe me, I'm proud to be with the Guy. Not proud of how he looks - though I'm not displeased with that, and we seem to be growing more and more alike there, given how more nicely rounded we grow every month - but of how he is. And I feel so incredibly lucky that he wants to be with me.And I'm glad, every day, for the one fact that brings us together: that we are so similar, that we can understand each other so well.

The best relationship advice I ever got? It was delivered by my friend Vroom, back when we first became friends and I was telling him about my first boyfriend. It was pithy: "If you ask me, that guy's a jerk. Dump him."

Of course, I blew up at him for talking about my boyfriend like that. But it's been almost seven years, and Vroom and I still speak our minds to each other.

How about you? What was the best relationship advice you've ever got? The worst? Make a post of it, write it in the comments. I want to know.


Shail said...

The worst advice you have mentioned is THE worst I have heard. Understanding does NOT matter with time?? WOW!!! That must be one stupid (excuse me) friend who gave you that advice. I just can't believe anyone would say that.

Unmana said...

Shail: Yes, I thought it was pretty bad too. Thankfully, I wasn't insecure enough to actually listen.

And hey, welcome here. It's your first comment, I believe.

Anonymous said...

Well the best I got was abut dumping a guy that was really worth dumping.Today when I think about hi, I shudder

Pravesh Biyani said...

The worst I got was to listen and do whatever my spouse says, always!!!
The best I got was to listen to her more and try understand her.. .as often as I can..

The first one came from somebody on my spouse's side, the second one came from somebody from my side..

Anonymous said...

Heeheehee! Your friend sounds like a total Bimbo (sorry!)

I always imagine myself feeling proud when I walk into a room with someone who would do me proud. But it's never by appearances. I have met far too many good looking fellows to realize how often they tend to be empty in the upper department.
Yes, understanding is VERY important. But methinks good show-off value is when the person is successful and downright good at what he does.
As far as appearances go, being presentable is important though. (And at least slightly above average looking :-P)

Anonymous said...

Ha ha :)))

Worst advice came and still comes from some elderly, concerned souls - lots of it :) ...but I feel they don't mean it, they just say it out of a sense of 'saying the right thing'.

Anonymous said...

Ha ha :)))

Worst advice came and still comes from some elderly, concerned souls - lots of it :) ...but I feel they don't mean it, they just say it out of a sense of 'saying the right thing'.

Unmana said...

Wanderer: Ah, that's always the best kind, isn't it?

Pravesh: The best you got was pretty good!

unsungplasm: Success - not in monetary or career-ladder terms but in terms of being good at what one does - is important to me too. But I think of it more in terms of compatibility. Because the Guy and I are both involved in our work, because it's more than just 'jobs' to us, we understand that about each other. There's never (okay, very rarely) remonstrances when one is working late or getting caught up in work. Also, it makes it easier for us to talk to each other about our work - which we do a lot.

As for appearances - I never thought that was important. And if everyone wanted someone with above average looks - what would the rest of the world do? :-)

Indianhomemaker: Ironic that the "right thing" turns out to be bad advice, eh?