Monday, January 18, 2010

Good Men = "Not Rapists"?

Some days, I get a jolt that makes me wonder at how little distance we have come.

A well-read, articulate young woman friend tells me - about a character in a story I asked her to read - that she thought he was "a good guy, because he didn't go ahead and have sex with her anyway."

An educated, independent woman's definition of a good guy: someone who is not a rapist.

That assumes most men are potential rapists. And on behalf of men, I am outraged.

I am sure there are many men like that. Many, many, many of them.

But it is insulting men to imply that they can't be really good, that the most they can be is not-rapists.

There are men like the Guy, who wouldn't ever willingly take advantage of another's vulnerability; who treat women as equals; who might not always get it, but who try, and learn. Men who try to be honest, and kind, and thoughtful.

That is the standard I want. Not the other.

3 comments:

starry eyed said...

Sigh. I'm outraged too.

@lankr1ta said...

Whoever said the patriarchy was good for men?

rajtilak said...

Hey ur blog is some thing differnt from others u mixed up all the feelings its like fingers crossed by the end . What i want to say is u had many friends and friends of their own style but i wanna say some thing its honest person or good person who actually exist not honest men or good men ......