Sunday, May 31, 2009

Do You Have Just One Soulmate?

It's hard enough finding one person to fall in love with, but I was wondering if it's possible to find more than one. (No, I'm not being greedy - the Guy is quite enough for me, thank you. I'm just wondering theoretically.)

Is there just one person in the whole world with whom you can share everything, who gets you? I had believed so, but now I doubt it. It seems probable that you might have more than one soulmate, only finding one takes so much effort - it would be difficult to find another! (Just like there is likely to be life on other planets - it seems unlikely that the earth is the only inhabited planet in the entire universe, doesn't it?)

The idea that there is just one person in the world who is meant to share your life is very romantic, but also very sad. What happens if something goes wrong, if one of the two dies? Is the survivor to spend the rest of her/his life missing her/his partner? The Guy and I aren't happy being apart for more than a day or two - and a lifetime of such misery seems overwhelming. I would like to think, if something happens to me or if we break up, the Guy would find love and happiness again. 

But if you admit that you might fall in love more than once, is it possible to be in love with more than one person at the same time? It would be unlikely because once you find one soulmate you are likely to be more impervious to others' charms. But isn't it possible that you have two amazing best friends whom you find attractive?

18 comments:

ramblingsbybones said...

I actually don't believe in the soul mate business...It's all romantic poo-hoo...I mean, if there were only one soul mate for a person, how could he/she be sure of finding him/her? What if the soul mate appears but the relevant person doesn't notice him/her? What if a person's soul mate dies before they meet? What if a person meets his/her soul mate after he/she gets married - does it give him/her the license to cheat?
The notion that there is someone out there is a 'feel good' notion, nothing else...

@lankr1ta said...

I don't think there are "soul mates". Not forevers either. And it does not scare me much. One finds the "right" person in terms of how much the two people can evolve and learn and grow together. Once that stops love dies. Cheating is a no-no, but a drifting apart can happen. Also a complete honesty is required. Once you need to hide things from the SO, the relationship is over. Oh and the SO is the person you most be yourself with, not someone better.

Unmana said...

Nice responses!

I do believe in the idea of soulmates because I have found one - but I agree that it doesn't have to last forever. I do think you can find someone right for you though, someone you can be yourself with, as @lankrita says.

insanityincorporated said...

I think the 'soul mate' concept is over-hyped thanks to the movies and novels. There is actually no logic in finding that ONE soul mate!

It ultimately depends on how well both the people adjust together and are compatible with each other. You 'click' with some one and you don't 'click' with someone. Period.

NuttyNits said...

"But isn't it possible that you have two amazing best friends whom you find attractive?
"

Its very much possible. Have experienced it myself... But I thought of myself as a confused nut when I experienced it b'coz of this over-hyped "soulmate concept".

Unmana said...

Insanity: But can you 'click' with more than one person at the same time?

Nits: So you were in love with two people at the same time? That is what I was trying to get it - it seems quite possible to me, but I wanted to know if anyone had actually experienced it. Was the experience painful for you?

Unmana said...

*get at

NuttyNits said...

Yup.. it took me quite an effort to get over it. More than anything I was disgusted with myself. Since we are brought up to believe that there is "one" and "the only one" for you, I was quite unhappy with myself. But I was blessed with a amazing partner and a best friend for life in return. Cant thank God enough for that.

Unmana said...

Nits: Good for you. I'm glad things worked out so well.

insanityincorporated said...

well, yes it does happen. More so in the metros where people are able to break free from the shackles of tradition.neways, I don't see this is a crime, but surely it will complicate relations.

The only solution i see is 'CONTROL YOUR EMOTIONS' hehehee :)

Sujeet Pillai said...

Whoa!! Dangerous topic.
But no.. I don't think there's a theoretical reason why one person can't be in love with 2 ppl at once.

Monogamy is forced by our society and is inherently unnatural!

Unmana said...

Insanity: How exactly does one go about 'controlling their emotions'? I can understand not expressing them, but how do you not feel them?

Sujeet: I hope your wife is aware of your views on monogamy!

chandni said...

well...I do belive in the concept of soul mates and believe there are definitely more than one.

Because I don't think a soulmate has to be in your life as *the* person with whom u share romance. You could have a best friend who's a soul mate without any "in love" drama.

If you find more than one who gets is, what more could one ask for?

Unmana said...

Chandni: I have a lot to say in return, but I need time to write it out coherently - maybe I'll do a post!

chicu said...

first off, I dont believe in the soulmate thing. I do believe in loving people, learning more about them, and loving them more in the process.and they are no less the soulmates for that.
But I wonder sometimes, what about soulmates past? do they come up to haunt one? do their shades stand behind one and click in disapproval at who their once-love is with now? horror of horrors, does the once-love cringe then?

Unmana said...

Chicu: What exactly about the 'soulmate thing' do you not believe, when you mention you believe people can become soulmates?

anumita said...

i believe in a different definition of a soulmate and yes, i totally believe there is more than one. read 'Brida' by Paulo Coelho, if you havent read it yet. interesting and it subscibes a little to what i believe...

Jesa Christ said...

There are some things you can share differently with another person. Even soulmates aren't perfect. If they were , we'd never grow together, and soon drift apart. I fully believe in loving, deeply, as a soulmate more than one person. You just don't have to take it to the physical aspect. Afterall, souls have no physical aspect.